PUP Volume 3 Chapter 9

Translator: Piper Panda

Editor: Kleep

TLC: Sen

Suji was not just a mermaid, she was also a very powerful alchemist. For that reason, Xi Wei was able to tolerate her. He needed her to make alchemic remedies to restore Zeno’s magic and mental power that was drained because of the spell he cast. Also, the injury could not have any long-lasting effects. Their world was too dangerous. If he had no self-protection abilities, then throughout his entire life he would face life-threatening situations.

To make this medicine, there was still one last thing needed. That was the thousand-year-old Yulan Water Magnolia.

The Yulan Water Magnolia was a plant, but not an ordinary plant. It only grew in extremely cold lands and it was rare for it to survive by itself, not to mention for a millennium.

However, there just so happened to be one within an arm’s reach—the betrothal gift for the future wife of the Earl Duin.

Xi Wei fell into silence, the Yulan Water Magnolia was different from the Xue Nu1. The two were not at the same level at all.

However, the Earl of the Miya Empire was not comparable to Xi Lu of the red-light district. The degree of difficulty shot up by no small amount.

So, would Xi Wei give up? Of course not.

The Earl was going to give it to his future wife, so then give him a wife.

With that idea in mind, Xi Wei glanced at Suji, and the poor Suji could not help but shiver. She felt that something bad was going to happen.

When Zeno woke up, he turned over and saw a silhouette sitting at the table. He blinked and squinted, and realized that the person was Xi Wei, so he rubbed his eyes awake and stumbled over.

“It’s early,” said Zeno, and then he discovered that Xi Wei was doing something to his face. He went around the table to see it better. What he saw was so scary all he could do was point his shaking finger at the man and say, “You…Who are you? What…”

The man was sitting at the table, wearing Xi Wei’s clothes, and had the face shape of Xi Wei, but it was not Xi Wei.

A barrage of thoughts flew around in Zeno’s head.

It can’t be true that the protagonist has a role-playing fetish

It turned out that Xi Wei was done up like a woman

Do you really think it’s a good thing to see an ice-cold beauty

In short, all of Zeno’s sleepiness was scared away.

He took a deep breath and got mentally prepared to listen to the protagonist’s explanation. However, Xi Wei only handed him a mirror. Zeno looked down subconsciously and his whole body became petrified.

What did he just see!

After all the nightmares of pretending to be a little girl during his childhood, who was the silly looking girl in the mirror!

Then, regardless of Zeno, who was already on the verge of a mental collapse, Xi Wei seemed to have finally completed the last part of his face. He stood up and began to undress.

Zeno looked at Xi Wei with a dull expression before he peeled his eyes away, and then Xi Wei put on a light-colored dress. His movements were smooth and his expression was natural, a person could not help but suspect that he was a sister?!

Beseeching the protagonist, have you finally found a new method of destroying the world?

It was not over yet. While waiting for him to change his clothes, Xi Wei threw another skirt to Zeno. His brain was tangled in makeup and it made him want to cry but he had no tears, he could only ask weakly, “Why?”

Xi Wei seemed to think that he still owed an explanation, so he said coldly, “The Earl Duin wants to marry a wife. The betrothal gift is the thousand-year-old Yulan Water Magnolia. I need the Yulan Water Magnolia.”

So they have to disguise themselves like sisters to get that annoying Yulan Water Magnolia?!

Earl Duin could be regarded as young, promising, and extremely handsome, so after the news spread, people came in an endless stream to pry. Even beautiful women from the neighboring towns came, not exactly to become a stepmother, but in order to be a Countess. Nevertheless, that was merely a small trifle.

Finally, the Earl seemed to become overwhelmed and announced an important decision. That was, all the beautiful, innocent, unmarried women of any family could receive an invitation to attend the banquet at the Earl’s House in three days time. The Earl would then pick a favorite from the present women to become his next Countess.

When that news came out, it caused an uproar. For the invitation, many people tried their hardest, but they did not know how the beauty was assessed. Yet, without issue, Xi Wei successfully acquired three invitations.

Zeno’s face had black lines2 and Suji’s beauty bloomed. After all, a person who thought that Merfolk were not beautiful had not yet been born. They were two big men, should the person who sent the invitation be blind? Incredibly, they did not notice, or could it be that the protagonist’s makeup ability was too superb, and there were simply no flaws?

Holding invitations that countless people were eager to have was like holding a hot potato, Zeno got almost no sleep.

In such a strange and tense atmosphere, the banquet began on schedule.

There were a ton of beautiful girls attending. If it was not for the sheer size of the Earl’s House, it was very likely that it would be impossible to have so many people. It was truly a myriad of colors.

Zeno’s nervousness almost made him trip over his feet, and he also felt guilty. He always felt like everyone was watching them. Like a frightened rabbit that could jump up at any time, it was as if everyone was taunting him, a man dressed as a woman. It was as if he was possessed.

As long as the protagonist wanted something he was going to get it

Still struggling to fight, he had to pray that these people were not super poisonous.

The banquet soon began, and Sujii followed Xi Wei and Zeno step by step. For thousands of years she had never seen so many people, and there were so many beautiful people. There were not only the girls who were coming to the banquet, but also the family members of those sisters. There were groups and also loners.

Suji was getting a bit overwhelmed.

Even among so many beautiful people, Suji’s beauty stood above the rest, attracting many envious and admiring eyes. It left the maiden with the appearance of a mature woman, but the heart of a humble servant unsure of how to deal with it.

Xi Wei put a lot of thought into it. Regardless of whether the Earl liked the mature type, iceberg type, or the delicate type, he could be satisfied. If you looked at it from the outside, the chances of their three candidates were really good.

Thus, their chance of getting the Yulan Water Magnolia also increased greatly.

Unexpectedly, however, the Earl of Duin did not appear immediately. The atmosphere of the banquet was mostly normal and somewhat dignified.

Sitting and waiting was not Xi Wei’s style. He nodded to Suji. The maid froze, then grasped what he meant. She turned to one of the banquet waiters and said something. In the face of such a beautiful lady’s request, although the waiter was somewhat embarrassed, he still agreed.

When they left, Xi Wei dragged Zeno quietly away from the other waiters and snuck into the backyard of the Earl’s house.

It was very different from the brightly lit front hall. The backyard was very quiet. Maybe it was because the staff were all situated in the front hall. Zeno had not seen another person for about five minutes.

The Earl’s House was very large, and Xi Wei walked silently while holding Zeno’s hand. After a while they heard a little movement.

They walked in the direction of the sound and came to a rock garden. There were two people, one big and one small. Little Lori cried while clutching the man’s sleeve, not allowing him to go. The man was helpless, all he could do was coax her.

According to the limited information obtained, the identities of these two people were self-evident.

It seemed that it was not the Earl who wanted to leave the doves, but he was caught by little Lori and could not get to the banquet.

Suddenly, little Lori stopped crying, hiccuped, and with her round eyes that were filled with tears she looked in a certain direction. Earl Duin followed her line of sight and came face to face with the two ‘women’.

One looked cold and one looked nervous.

The Earl was stunned and immediately said, “You two ladies, this is not the banquet hall, it is dark so please return to the main hall.”

Xi Wei swept him a light glance and the Earl became uncomfortable. Tt was as if he had been stripped of his clothes, and all his secrets had been seen.

In contrast, little Lori, who was choking with sobs and screaming, saw Xi Wei and immediately released her Dad’s sleeves. She stumbled while rushing to Xi Wei’s side. At first, it seemed that she did not dare to get close due to Xi Wei’s cold temperament, but then as if with newfound determination, she shook her little fist and grabbed Xi Wei’s skirt, and softly called out, “Mom.”

All three people present were petrified.

Earl Duin was embarrassed. He pulled up his sleeves and took little Lori away. He explained, “Sorry you two, she doesn’t understand many things, later I will personally apologize to you.”

He then ran away with Lori as if his butt was on fire.

Zeno snuck a peek at the protagonist’s face and found that everything was normal. Was the protagonist half-way accustomed to being called a parent by strange children?

After this encounter, they did not have to stroll around the back garden so they headed back to the banquet hall.

The atmosphere in the hall was already a bit tense. After all, the people there were all competitors. There could only be one Countess, who would fall and who would win was not yet known.

Suji had long returned. Owing to her beauty, she had been stared at with all kinds of envious and hateful eyes, and seeing Zeno was like seeing a savior.

“Master, Suji had done what the Master had told me to do!”

Xi Wei nodded, and Suji was encouraged and continued what she was saying, “Suji used a new alchemic agent to make the waiter dizzy, and he told me everything.”

It could also be said that Suji was lucky. She just got knowledge from the inside, and it happened to be big gossip.

The was true that the first wife of Earl Duin died during childbirth, but it was not natural. The Earl, who actually liked men, had very light feelings for the former lady. In modern terms, this trait was equivalent to cheating. The Countess discovered that secret, was stimulated into a premature birth, and finally died.

Earl Duin probably had a guilty conscience, so he loved his daughter very much. Unfortunately for him, while a nobleman could enjoy the company of men on the side, he could never take a man as his wife. Thus, this current travesty.

The Author has something to say:

A variety of styles to choose from, Earl Duin has bad luck hahaha, cough cough

Piper has been working hard so the next chapter may not take long. Life happens though, so no promises teehee. That aside, I really think this part of the novel is quite fun!

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  1. in case you forgot, Xue Nu is the medicine Xi Wei and Zeno were looking for in volume one, it treats fevers. 
  2. These black lines:
    black lines 

64 thoughts on “PUP Volume 3 Chapter 9

  1. Ah, will he choose the ice cold beauty or make the beauty jealous and take the nervous one? Xi Wei was spot on when choosing the disguises. Thanks for the chapter!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. A Bl novel not having gay couples / people throughout would be a sin . Earl Duin belongs to that category . It was fun to see that little girl to call Xi Wei ‘ Mom’ . But sorry little girly , Xi Wei is a father , first for Zeno , and then for Zeno’s Kids 😉
    Thank you for the chapters ♡

    Liked by 7 people

  3. Lol…. I wonder if being gay will make the earl more interested in the cross-dressers. Wouldn’t getting a nanny be fine? I don’t see why he has to get married except to tickle his little one.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Hahaha I laughed hard on Xi Wei.. Zeno is right.. maybe he’s accustomed to being called a parent by strange children wahahhaahaha

    Thanks for the chapters!!~ 🙇🙇🙇

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Ok. So.
    I froze too.

    I was dead and dying of laughter oh my god.

    Get it dude!!!
    Also, how did he do her if he didn’t like women…. the power of imagination sure is good and powerful lmao….maybe he was assisted and just like… idk lmao.

    Also! This chapter was good and very funny! Unlike like last chapter and it’s confusingness. It was completely at odds with all the chapters read so far. This novels joys is it descriptiveness about everything.

    I was completely against the vagueness of last chapter lol

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Pfft. Lmao. When I read that I started laughing so hard and started choking on my laughter lmao.

        No one in that world, especially a child would interact with Xi Wei so sweetly lmao.


        Also~ no comments for your newly coined nickname conned by me?!
        Kleep klop~~

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hmmmmmmmmmm? No? Lol.

        I started calling you Kleep klop because while I checked daily for new chapters. And I was thinking of, “Klippity klop or click cloo”, like you know, the sound horses make when they run or walk.

        So, after checking daily, I started saying Kleep klop because I wanted you to move as fast as a horse.
        And it’s also due to it being fun to say lmao.

        Hm. You might be a horse. Lmao

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I didn’t expected a double update and most certainly didn’t expected them to be too damn funny!
    Xi Wei crossdressing! oh boy it’s a sight to behold
    and poor zeno his nightmares are back.
    I guess Xi Wei has “parent” halo along with the protagonist halo lol.
    And little girl! Xi Wei/Ice cold beauty is not “mom” but a father(well daddy for zeno tho ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Whaaa, another gay guy ! First was Asil and his husband, now the Earl, and I’m now sure there will be even more in the future. Such a good world fufufu ~
    Thanks for the chapter ♡

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That would certainly be a strange twist but technically would not disrupt the BL tag on this novel… Hm… Tbh, depending how this new character is done, I could go for a story like that just for the novelty. The buildup to this point would be strangely a lot but you know. xD

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Ehhh, theoretically, with Zeno and Xi Wei on the scene, the Earl…can’t lose??? Beautiful, motherly men. How bout it. Of course since they only want the Water Magnolia, this is not possible. Poor Earl, romance was almost within his reach. Thanks for the chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Funny thing is Zeno’s been (accidentally?) crossdressing half his life so the only really strange thing about it is Xi Wei joining in. And uh, the risk of a marriage proposal.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. A crossdressing protagonist ohmygawd (σ≧▽≦)σ
    Who’d guess the protagonist’s ‘well-thought’ plan would be this effective XD

    Is the Earl’s sexual orientation the reason why they managed to get the invitations, despite being ‘big burly men’? I’m really curious about how they would look like in dress. 😂
    And Xi Wei is a stallion novel’s protagonist. He’s supposed to be attracring women instead of kids! X”D

    And they’re both trying so hard for each other’s sake ❤
    Thank you for the double updates 💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

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